Hmmmph. See, he’s still doing the shit.

Jihwa though, gosh… he’s working himself into a serious emotional state, and it should be clear, to everyone, that Seungho is looking at Nakyum, not the paintings, and at nothing else. So… as pained as I am for Jihwa, let’s look at this for a moment.

Seungho’s growing obsession with Nakyum is obvious to everyone but him. This is wavering between getting Nakyum to paint now, and something else. With all his protestations about fucking lowborns, and Jiwha’s protestations about being different, we have here something else entirely.

Seungho has the wrong idea about Nakyum.

He is used to people like Min and Jihwa, and god knows who else. Most importantly, a man like this, in this state, a default one that’s akin to narcissism, can only think other people are like him. And he is definitely in a low place emotionally. Up to this point, there has been almost no hint of Seungho’s emotional self or world, beyond his violence, is over indulgence and hedonism.

But this staring thing he’s got going on with Nakyum, this is definitely a clue to something else.

Whatever it is he sees in Nakyum, some lost innocence of his own, a lambent and nascent mutual kink he can see in Nakyum (even if Nakyum cannot see it in himself), Seungho cannot look away.  He is, noticeably to all around him, unable to leave Nakyum alone, unable to stop seeing him. In the last couple of chapters, he is beginning to touch him too.

This is the first we begin to see of something other than his capricious nature at work.

And I think this is something important. Something extremely significant at this point. Because if Seungho cannot look away, it’s a funny thing he has commanded Nakyum to look as well, not just look, but to paint (which of course, requires looking).

Why I’m fascinated by this, is because Nakyum has been trying for over a year to leave his painting of erotica behind him. When Seungho found him,  he was at a low point, habitually drunk and unhappy, sleeping witless on the floor of a public bar.

To someone like Seungho, that alone is pitiful, but somewhere in this hedonistic pell mell life Seungho is living, it is HIM that ssees Nakyum and is determined to draw him out. That, that has to be addictive to a. man who has sampled everything to date, and gorged himself on his favourites. To someone that jaded, as cold and calculating as Seungho is, he is both drawing the right conclusion and the wrong one at the same time.

But what is this doing to Nakyum? He stopped painting because of the Dry Twat. And the longer he went without painting, the more unhappy he was. He also knew his feelings for Inhun were unrequited. Because if Inhun didn’t want him to paint vulgar paintings of men doing disgusting things, surely he would never, could never return Nakyum’s feelings. Nakyum was already so unhappy. Forced to deny not one, but two crucial parts of himself.

But Seungho sees Nakyum’s art, his gay, gay, gayness, his desire, and more importantly is giving him permission to do at least one of the things that he enjoys, is good at and has a passion for.

This stare down thing they have going on, is clearly about giving him permission to give in to his sexual desires.

In rereading this episode for this review (specifically for this review for reference, but probably my 100th re-read), I am incredibly struck by the way in which Seungho is performing for Nakyum.

He sees Nakyum, he is seeing Nakyum do what he is good at. Seungho appears to want Nakyum to see him. More specifically to see him doing what he is good at, which is, fucking… making men cum.

The unspoken message here is, “I want to make you cum Nakyum.”

And, Nakyum is watching. Doesn’t take his eyes off the scene unless it is to paint.  So in this tableau vivant Seungho has set and. arranged just so to his liking, this episode is a blatant and unspoken invitation to Nakyum.

There is no way, no way in hell Seungho is going to last much longer without touching Nakyum. He is a greedy and insatiable man, and he doesn’t understand either restraint or refusal. So this little power game, mind fuck thing he’s been doing up to now, despite being physically standoffish, is about to turn into something else.

He is performing for Nakyum. First so Nakyum can see how it’s done, how Seungho does it, and especially as a means of foreplay.

And now, I need to circle back to my poor Jihwa. He knows, full well what is happening. And first, before either of the other two in this scene that something more than just paintings is going on. He probably knows Seungho best and can already tell this behaviour is uncharacteristic.

Seungho is changing in front of him, and it’s already making him horribly uncomfortable and with that discomfort comes an increasing loss of control.

This is bad.

Bad for Nakyum first, then Jihwa… and well, Seungho is just bad at this point. Bad and bougie, bad as he wanna be, bad ass… Billy Bad Ass. Just all of that.